its starting again.

after the big hooha tht happened two and a half months ago tht caused a "big crack in the wall tht slowly spread to more smaller cracks". even though it seemed to subside and the incident disappeared to the back of our minds, i knew we were still treading on thin ice, until now.

to think i had started to believe in the hope of the crack being covered completely soon, and then today happened.

i don't want to interfere, but they keep dragging me in, with all the "Ask Natalie"s. i don't want to say anything. or they'll say im taking sides, which i don't intend to. i hate this.

im going deaf with all the shouting. why can't we all just go back to being happy during the time before the hooha came along. please.

next, that topic is going to be brought up again and they'll force me to make tht decision tht i don't want to make.

my tear ducts are empty alr, from all the crying the last time this happened. please stop.

maybe i should learn to numb my heart, thn i won't feel anything.